Pressure

It’s garbage day and I’m sending away the pressure. 

In fact, I have added this to my every thought. It’s been helpful. “I would like to get everything done today, but no pressure.”

In a world that is both embracing us and warning us to keep our distance, eliminating the pressure we put on ourselves is so important. As many of us have already experienced, real-world interaction after a year in a bubble is exhausting. 

I have another new addition, “let’s see how we feel!” Because in the new world plans are infinitely breakable, without the need for an excuse. “I changed my mind,” is all it takes these days, and you’re off the hook. The thing is, there is a built-in excuse. We’re still acclimating and things are just different now. 

It seems a little silly to be sending away the pressure, but this is where I find myself. Still pressuring myself to perform at the highest level, and mostly I can, but a seven o ‘clock bedtime is not unusual. A two-hour bath is usual. There is a lot of downtime involved in my daily routine that didn’t exist pre-pandemic. 

I may not be able to do ALL of the things I used to do, and some things I may do even better, but the pressure needs to go. How can there be expectations when we have no idea what to expect? 

To those of us who aren’t ready yet, no pressure. You’ll be ready when you’re ready. If you forget things, miss deadlines, or make mistakes, let yourself off the hook for that, too. 

The history books are not going to read, “there was a world pandemic, millions of people died, we saw bombs being dropped on the Gaza Strip, Fipolli resigned amidst mounting numbers of sexual allegations, India suffered tremendous loss and families and friends were divided by the most violent presidential transfer of power in history, people lost their friends, families and their businesses, and then half the people were vaccinated so we went back to normal.” 

No. We will take our time, we will ease back in, we will rest and recharge, and we will know that everyone we encounter is a survivor with a story to tell. Will things ever be normal again? That seems unlikely, but in the meantime, let’s get rid of the pressure. It’s not helping anything. 

Some will be great, some will be less than great, but all of us are changed. In time, I believe that we will learn that this has, even with all of the separation and solitude we’ve suffered, been a bonding experience. We’re coming out of this closer than ever, we just have to be patient. We aren’t going to dive right in, not all of us anyway. It’s okay to test the waters. No pressure.