Vanity

It’s garbage day, and I’m sending away vanity. I couldn’t cling to it, anyway. 

I have been so far beyond any acceptable stress level all week, and a friend who knows me very well booked a spa appointment for us. I am not having an easy time, but just as escaping a chrysalis isn’t always relaxing, hard times often lead to beautiful things.

Four months into a construction project that includes a floor - up restoration of a 100 year old house will make anyone feel a little crazy. Living 24/7 with your kids and dogs only adds to the insanity. I’m right where I should be, mentally, but it’s not a great place. 

I was already feeling a little crazy and isolated when I quit drinking in January of 2020. In March, the rest of the world joined me in isolation. That was weird.

Poor diet and extreme lack of exercise coupled with stress and business contributed to my weight gain, curiosity turned my hair grey, and masks took away my face, including my trademark red lips. 

Two years ago, I used to go to Sebastopol to get my hair done by a woman I’d decided was the very best, work out every day at Parkpoint for two hours, and go hiking on the weekends with my family, where I would wear lipstick because I always did,  regularly meet my girlfriends for mani-pedis, and buy beautiful clothes to go dancing in at night, where drunk men would consistently flatter me by guessing my age to be thirty-five. 

Today I was offered a senior discount when I was buying my plus size bathing suit at Ross, and I took it. Then I came home and took a three hour nap after using my EBT card to buy a variety of microgreens at Whole Foods. 

The bloom is off the rose now, and I’m just happy they make swimsuits with skirts that are made to accentuate my adorable chubby thighs. I asked my son, “do you think I should shave my underarms or be European?” Whatever that means, and he assured me that nobody cared either way. 

So tomorrow, with my discounted swim dress and my lovely tummy full of microgreens, I’ll take my European body hair across the street to float my cares away with my girlfriend in the singing pool until my month-late tile delivery truck driver calls me and slams me back into reality. 

I may have aged twenty years this pandemic, but I’m coming through it with a new found appreciation for myself, my family, my friends, and our health. I’m happy to be here, and I’m happy that you’re here, too. I think that we all look fantastic, and what I really want to see is smiles, what I really want to hear is laughter, and my vanity can go out with the trash because I’m too busy to be hung up on senior discounts or the things I’ve let go, I’m just excited to be in this world with you.

ongarbageday.com