Criticism

This morning I’m thinking about criticism.

More often than not, we use criticism to avoid having to look at ourselves. When dealing with a narcissist, therapists joke that because they are unable to confront their own flaws, they point out their exact issues in the people around them. We know a narcissist husband is cheating when he accuses his codependent wife of it. Looking inward is not easy for anyone, but it’s actually impossible for some. 

Have you ever noticed that happy people are less critical of the people around them? People who can accept themselves with all of their own flaws are more apt to accept the people around them as they are, too. I’ve noticed that as I start to like myself more, the people around me are becoming more likable. 

I had a boyfriend who texted me all day long, but complained about how lazy his coworkers were. I remember thinking at the time that he might actually be able to work more if he wasn’t constantly texting me. I didn’t say anything because I liked the attention, but I knew he was projecting. To someone not doing what he is supposed to be doing, the people around him become a problem. If he had focused on his work more, he likely would not have felt that the people around him were so lazy because the work would have been done and he would have been too busy doing it to notice the people around him. 

When I find myself projecting, or criticizing, or just being kinda bitchy, I know I need to do a reality check. What did I avoid doing today that has me thinking others are lacking? Could I do more to better my own situation? If I’m not happy with the behavior of someone around me, it’s a pretty good bet that I’m not happy with myself. 

The better I am to myself, the better I will be to my friends and family, and the happier we will all be. The critics in life only think they are unhappy with the people around them, when in reality their unhappiness stems from within. I’m going to go do laundry now, so I can stop being mad at my son for neglecting his chores. It’s not always easy to identify the owner of the dirty laundry, but washing it is a breeze.