The Scorpion and the Frog

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion 

says, "Because if I do, I will die too."

The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" 

Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."

Though I’m sure it’s good for me, admitting my own flaws and failures honestly is no fun. I was just telling my friend Marc last night that I now have to completely take responsibility for my all of my failed relationships and why. It’s difficult to admit that I created the situations. 

I’m not saying that the other people were entirely innocent. I’m just saying that my perspective was so skewed that I created problems and possibly entire relationships that could have been avoided. 

A girlfriend told me that she thought it was weird that I date, because she is so picky that it’s not even a possibility for her. Yes, I date, but I walk blindly into relationships I don’t want because I think I can make them what I want. I can’t. 

I’m realizing now that while nothing is perfect, I can’t expect to completely fix or change my friends and family. I am reminded of the story of the scorpion and the frog. I need to stay on my side of the river. 

Shawn told me to make a list. I knew what my list was. One thing. I just wanted someone to be nice to me. Having such a stunted list did not serve me. I was controlled, abused, lied to,  lied about, and cheated on. I created this. So maybe I should expand the list. Eventually. 

Right now I have to own my own shortcomings, review my priorities, forgive and love myself (and everyone else), question my motives and continue to take responsibility for what I create. It’s hard. It’s punishing work. Knowing I have been so far off is frustrating. It’s like a return to childhood, with so much work ahead. I’m happy to know that I was wrong, now I just have to learn what is right. 

I’m happy to report that I’m not a victim in any of this. Now I just have to figure out why, and redirect my efforts from blaming others for how they treat me or themselves to owning how I let myself be treated, and who I choose to have relationships with. I need to be more mindful of who I ask for a ride, and who I offer rides to, because sometimes I’m the scorpion, and sometimes I’m the frog.