Loyalty

Last night, a man put his hand on my waist, gave me a squeeze, and assured me that whatever happened between us was “okay” because he had a wife and two kids at home. For some reason, I asked him how old his kids were, and then turned away. He offered to buy me a drink, but I was drinking coffee. 

It made me pretty sad for his wife. I was one of the oldest, and least “trying” women in the bar. I can’t be the first woman he’s said this to. 

I told my/his friend what he’d said to me, and he said he’d take care of it. I guess that meant he’d tell his friend to try someone else, but I wish it had meant convincing his friend to be trustworthy, respectable and moral. 

On the eve of my birthday one year, my (now ex) husband went out with some men who worked for him, while I was home with my two kids. He got really drunk (which was not his typical behavior), and I think he tried similar lines on women. 

I’m not sure if the lines my husband used worked or not, but he came home very late and threw up all night. For my birthday in the morning , he delivered a long letter he’d somehow written about how he didn’t want that bar life, and he was going to do whatever it took to make me happy. But he didn’t actually even get me a birthday gift, or card, so I’m not sure he really meant it. 

I would have thought that my husband had “cheated” on me, but at the time our marriage was so dumb, I wouldn’t even have cared. 

A crowded bar is definitely an intense place to be sober on thanksgiving eve. 

I had a lot of fun last night, even though I had a few strikingly sad moments. I haven’t been out much lately, and it was really nice to breathe clean air, visit with a few of my very best friends, dance, and see music being made.