The way people are wired, we all need something that drives us. I read an article once about the dangers of video games to a person’s ambition. It’s easy to get a false sense of accomplishment from a video game. The story talked about a man working a dead end job and barely squeaking by who had the same satisfaction with life as a successful businessman with a supportive wife and all the things. This came from his good and successful place in Second Life, or WOW, I can’t remember. Anyway, in the game, he had friends and money and power. That was enough for him.
Just as porn a addict feels accomplished for being with so many beautiful women, and may even judge the real women he knows by impossible standards and end up forever single, there is a real sense of accomplishment in a virtual world.
The matrix wasn’t so far off.
But is it wrong? I mean, whatever makes us happy, right?
Work is a good place to find a sense of meaning in life. We can measure our success by how well we do at work. It’s easy. A tiny little kingdom that we can rule. Or if we don’t have the success we want at work, maybe we find validation at home. A loving wife? Two beautiful kids? Or in things. Many find validation in having a beautiful home, two cars, nice clothes.
Whatever brings satisfaction and meaning in life, I think it’s important to check your balance. If you are putting everything into work and haven’t been in love, you’re missing a huge component of true happiness.
There are four things we need to keep an eye on.
Self. How are we doing? Are we keeping up with our self care? Are we physically, mentally and emotionally healthy? That’s #1.
The second is our family. Are we taking good care of our kids? Are we nurturing our relationship with our SO? How is our family doing?
Third is our friendships. Are we someone that our friends count on? Do we take calls in the middle of the night to talk a friend off the ledge? Are we having fun?
And lastly we have to take care of the world. Caring enough to buy organic, recycle, vote in elections and generally be a good member of society is important.
When one of these four things is being neglected, we find ourselves feeling lost or lacking satisfaction. We seek fulfillment in video games, porn, social media, work, or even one of the other four basic needs. We go heavy on the importance of family when we neglect ourselves.
The balance is constantly shifting, but it’s important not to neglect any one area of our life and focus only on the other three. Moms do this a lot. We care for our kids and neglect our husbands, self, and the world in general.
It takes a lot to find a good balance. It starts with self. Eat well, get exercise, meditate. Be good to yourself. It’s equally important to taking care of your family, your friends and the world.
This being said, I’m taking my kid to school, then I’m going to the gym, with my friend. I’ll listen to talk radio in an effort to be informed on the upcoming election. Today is a good day.
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