Explanations

It’s garbage day, and I’m sending away explanations. 

I’ve spent a lot of time in my short life trying to explain to people that what they are doing, how they are behaving, their treatment of others, or whatever I’m troubled by is wrong. I’m sick of trying. It’s not my responsibility to parent adults. If I explain a boundary, and it continues to be crossed, I’m not going to allow it, and I’m not going to continue to explain it. 

It’s perfectly fine to walk away. It seems like the right thing to do would be to keep trying, but it really isn’t. In our adult life, change no longer comes from those around us. As adults, change comes from within. 

Nobody is going to change because I’ve asked them to 100 times. If they didn’t stop the behavior after the first time, they aren’t going to. They are aware. 

In my youth I drove like a bat out of hell. 70 mph was slow. I was driving with a friend who told me that my driving made him uncomfortable, and asked that I slow down. So I did. And after that, I let my passengers know that if my driving made them uncomfortable, please tell me. Because I’m not an asshole. 

I learned and adjusted my behavior, and eventually dropped my minimum speed to 55 (at least in school zones), and I grew up. Sometimes I still make people uncomfortable, but I will always adjust my speed when asked... the first time.

So there are people who won’t. They are so certain that they are correct, or so unwilling to be wrong in any way, that even when asked, they continue to behave the way they want to behave. 

And that’s okay for both of us. It calls on me to enforce a healthy boundary, and it calls on them to find someone else to torture. Walking away is a much better solution than repeating my needs and having them not met. 

The one thing I won’t do is beg an adult to change. Over and over and over. They’ve already decided not to, more than likely, and chances are they enjoy the negative attention. 

So I’m going to live my life the way I think is best, and so is everybody else. Life is better this way. It’s garbage day and while I’m keeping one explanation, I’m sending away all of the extras. They aren’t necessary, and they’re just confusing and manipulating me. Real change comes from within, and nobody who doesn’t want to change is going to just because I keep asking. 

♥️